“We are all trying to evolve”, my friend states rather matter-of-factually over coffee. A part of me thinks: ‘I certainly hope so!’ Then I wonder, are we really *trying* or does it have a more organic feel that often we don’t notice?
Some people feel the sense of their journey, by asking: ‘what is the lesson <in this>?’ or some say, “it’s a sign!” when a reference comes up pertaining to their life at that moment. Can we really *try* to finesse our journey, or are we who we are, at the exact moment we are meant to be?
For example, the person who drives the same way every-single-day, then impulsively decides to take a different route, and gets into an accident. In what seems like an instant, lives are changed forever. Someone who never buys lottery tickets, and one day is motivated to buy a 1$ quick-pick and wins! Hesitating to break out of your cookie-cutter fashion sense and buying a shirt in a wild new color for “some reason”, then everyone compliments you on it. But most of the other times it seems as if you’re an innocent bystander: you loose your job, or a loved one dies suddenly, or someone betrays you. Is that you trying to evolve, or is it the universe forcing you to see things from a different perspective? After all, life happens.
So what do you think is that initial impulse that makes someone act differently at that crucial moment? What is the instigator in which motivates us? What made us choose that person who becomes a great friend or a lover who betrayed us? Is it something whispering into our ears? Intuition? Coincidence? The course of events that led up to ‘putting’ that person into that exact place, at that exact moment, would be nearly impossible to choreograph; one second either way would have changed the end result for all people in each of these examples, some for the better some for the worse. But within the people we meet, the things that happen to us, the good, the bad, the ugly. . . are they our *lessons*? Or a maybe a ‘warning shot’, by just merely being given a glimpse of fate on how to be, how to treat one another, and how to act ourselves.
A friend once shared with me, “I’ve got a magnet inside me for this…..” Her story: One day she walked into a room and came face to face with a person that she ‘must have known in a previous life’. (that’s the only way she could describe it: “the universe definitely wanted us to meet!”) The chain of crazy ‘coincidences’ that led up to that exact moment could not have been planned. When they came face to face everything…his smile and smell, nuances and quirkiness seemed magical, and weirdly familiar. It felt as if lightening struck the way they could talk and be effortless, as “if we’ve known each other forever!”. In that moment there was no way either of them could have known meeting the other was going to change each of their lives, as she felt something “wild” was happening. They grew with time, sharing a history and intimacy that she finally felt good enough to utter aloud all the things inside her to another person for the first time in her life, and it was reciprocated. They felt safe. Then, as suddenly as their beginning was, ‘the signs’ began showing: the same negative stuff she had encountered with past lovers began showing up. He had that same behavior. The very things she found repulsive, and made her run from other relationships was back! “Why does this always happen to me?!?”, she cried!
I had a theory.
I believe the universe keeps showing us or brings in the same lesson until we learn what we are here on earth to learn and conquer that. Some people master lessons quickly and move on to the other lessons. Some keep doing the same thing over and over because they haven’t evolved enough to jump past that hurdle. Now perhaps my friend is doing to the same thing, being attracted to the same type of person, because the universe is testing her, presenting her with the same test over and over; she is stuck. Maybe the reason those same nuisances felt like ‘magic’ is because it was familiar? Familiarity makes us feel safe. Kind of like the affect drugs &/or alcohol have on a person. So, essentially & weirdly, she is an addict. Not only is she is addicted to the rush of that relationship, she always chooses the same “drug” <man>. Coupled with that she is addicted to the “script”; unable to break free from her lines, to ad-lib and improv. She is stuck. And that is why that ‘keeps happening to her’.
So how does one break free from the habits that hold us back preventing evolution? Awareness: we have to be aware there is a pattern of behavior. Bravery: to be brave enough to see that we are all flawed and struggling. Therapy: we always need the right tools in our tool box of life to help us do better, and be better. Acceptance: accept that we are in need of help. Trust: that we are in the mist of evolution, and just how wonderful that is! Lastly, but certainly not the least: Thankfulness! Thanking God/The Universe/ your Spirit Guides, for believing enough in us that we can evolve and conquer, and learn how to move past the things that are slowing us down, and are hurting us; ultimately comfortably leaving turmoil behind. Then we can catapult into happiness and peace.
So yes! I believe we can finesse our journey; so we can advance our lives in a healthier, happier way. Even though growth hurts sometimes, it’s moving to a place of betterment. So as we evolve, organically, or with real hard and painful work, we are improving our lives, making our journey and the journey of others around us better!
Remember, life is a school, we must learn while we are here to make progress!
Thanks for reading . . . and as always I welcome comment and discussion on this post.